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Swimsuit Season: 5 New Diets To Get You Ready

June 9, 2011
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As the weather gets warmer, some tend to worry about their “swimsuitability”, or basically not looking nasty when they go to the beach or the pool. Sure, you could try to eat healthier and exercise to shed those excess pounds, or you could try one of the latest diets to sweep cyberspace. Below you’ll find five of the the most popular, though we can’t vouch for their effectiveness.

The Lumberjack

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing but a lumberjack breakfast for every meal. For maximum weight loss, don a long-sleeved  plaid shirty and sweat those pounds away.

 

The McNugget

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

McDonalds now sells a 20 piece McNugget, which means that for about $5 you can have an entire day’s worth of food.  6 for breakfast, 8 for lunch, and 6 for dinner; could it be any simpler? Warning: honey mustard will throw off this diet’s delicate balance.

 

Lawnmower

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Horses eat it, cows eat it, why can’t you eat it. A few straight weeks of grass and you’ll be ready for Miami Beach in no time. A bonus of this diet? It’s free if you have a backyard or live by a park. Warning: A food that enters rich green will likely exit the same color.

 

Day Old Donuts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chances are high that your local grocery store offers day old donuts at a steep discount. Why day old? When Tastitron( the primary element of donuts) is exposed to oxygen for over 24 hours, it crystallizes into a compound chemically identical to spinach. Honestly. Bonus: , plus if you get pulled over you’ll instantly have something to talk about with the police officer.

 

Rocky Balboa


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You think Rocky Balboa needed protein? Ha! The guy was 98% pure protein. Rather, he consumes several raw eggs each day in order to prepare for bikini season. Does it work? Let’s just say Chuck Norris thought so.

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